As I said in a previous post - After DH's trip, I kept putting off asking him about the money.  I kept telling myself it wouldn't be much and not worth worrying about.   Two days after he got home, I woke up and his wallet was right there, so I checked it.  It held almost $70.   I had to admit to myself that I put off asking, because if he lied again I wouldn't be able to ignore it.

Today, after I asked him about the movie costs and realized that we are not in agreement on money, I said, "Btw, I'm just curious about how much extra you had after that last trip.  I know you've probably already spent it."  I gave a little laugh while I said it and acted like it was nothing.  Right after I asked I realized the kids had come into the room...darn it.

He said, "Oh, yeah I only got about $40."  

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

I turned to check the food I was still cooking still acting as unconcerned as I could, because the kids were watching and listening.  They got their food and went into the next room. He grabbed some food and left to go eat at his computer.  I gave him two chances in that conversation to tell the truth.

I went into the other room where the kids were eating.   My youngest daughter looked at me and said, "You don't look happy."  

I just shook my head.   

"How much did he have?"  

"About $70."  

She gave a small sigh.  My youngest kind of pursed his lips, and I could see he wasn't happy. My middle son just shook his head and didn't say anything.

It's not about the money.  It's about the dishonesty.  I have to ask myself how long will I put up with this?  How long should the kids have to see it?  Doesn't he realize how it affects their view of him?   I've been putting up with this and his passive-aggressiveness for over 25+ years.  Our youngest is about to turn 17.  

I guess I should really be asking myself this:  How long am I going to let the fear of the unknown stop me?  Don't I deserve better treatment?