Nothing

I'm kind of numb.  The waiting, along with other things, is getting to me. I haven't even been able to bring myself to write about things until now.

I had stories I wrote.  I always had stories going through my head. I can't think of anything right now.  It's not writers block.  It's as if there is nothing in me.   There isn't anything there.  I've not had that happen before.

I had started decluttering and packing up things in the house to sell it.  I haven't touched anything.  I know I should be doing it, but the drive is gone.

I'm eating things I shouldn't be or too much of things I can eat.

My shoulders hurt, because they are so tense.

It's almost been a year since he ignored my "If you do it again, we're done.".  A year.  It should have been over now.  That it hasn't even started is bothering me.

The taxes still haven't been done.  I'm not sure if he suspects, but he keeps putting them off.  I finally pushed to have them done yesterday.  Our second son started having pc problems.  DH is a pc fixer guy.  That sidetracked him.  Then he discovered that not only was our son's pc infected, but it had migrated to DH's even though they both had virus scanners running.

Today they are reformatting both computers.

I'm ready to just walk out the door and not look back.  I'm even questioning whether I should just leave the "kids" with him.