I am considering the suggestions that I divide this blog into several: crafts that people want to see/buy; self-sufficiency and emergency preparedness; decluttering; my nutrition and health journey; and this one which supposed to mainly be about my marriage and divorce.
I know my self-sufficiency and decluttering posts get a lot of hits. I know a few would like to read about my switching to a more self-sufficient lifestyle. I know a few who don't care about that, but would love to see what I make.
I'm just not sure about it. The problem is they all tend to overlap each other. I need to declutter to sell the house for divorce. I need to declutter to set up a more self-sufficient lifestyle. Health concerns also cross over into several categories.
The only one that doesn't really cross over is the craft part. Well, it might cross over into the divorce if I generate income with it but not by much. However, I don't want to link it back to this blog, because my eldest daughter and her friends will be on the craft site a lot. There is a reason my children do not know about this blog. The last thing I need is my NPD daughter gathering ammunition for future use.
Several people are also encouraging me to finish a book I started writing years ago. I've only written a chapter or so but, before my middle daughter disappeared, she encouraged me to write it. She felt it would be a good fun story, but I think any editor faced with my punctuation and grammar handicaps would probably shoot themselves in the face after the first few pages. However, for her, I might try to just write it even if I never try to publish it.
I also don't know how to set up Word with double-spacing. I tried it once, and I had to fix an error. The whole page went nuts.
So many decisions I have to make. It's a bit overwhelming. I'm trying a pattern for Doctor Who's Tardis, but more often than not I find myself staring into space and mulling things over. The pattern is already one I'm not liking, so not paying attention to what I do when tweaking it isn't a good thing.
The fear of the unknown is stopping me from filing for divorce. The fear of what he'll do - what will happen to the kids and myself - it's so scary for someone who needs things planned out in advance. I keep questioning whether it will be worth it. Can I live with the lies to have financial security? What if leaving causes more problems for me and the kids? I have a lot of concerns. My Christian friends say that God will take care of me. I know He will. I just like to maintain control.
There is also so much to do. "Birthday season", as we call it, has hit. From now until June we will be busy with birthdays. It is literally 6 birthdays in a 8 week period along with the gatherings that accompany them. Following that my middle son leaves for boot camp. My eldest son just informed me he has to move back home due to finances from his divorce. That doesn't really help my fear, despite the fact he is in the "supporter" role.
It also makes it a bit difficult for me. I was going to fix up the empty bedroom for either DH or myself to stay in during the divorce proceedings. Our state does not have a mandatory separation. In fact, the lawyer suggested that if we could stand it, we should live together until it's all over in order to save money and get the house sorted between us. I don't know about that. To me that would seem a bit awkward.
My original intention was to stay in the house with the kids. It almost seems easier for me to move out, but the lawyer advised against it. It's been almost a year since DH broke his promise about not lying and hiding money again. This past trip he wasn't even really gone for a week. He left Monday morning and came back Friday afternoon. I know he has extra money, because I checked his wallet.
Today, I need to go run errands and take my youngest son out to practice parallel parking and backing up. My middle son had 3 weeks notice before his driving test. My youngest only received a weeks notice. But at some point I must make all these decisions and get things done.
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