Yikes

I got the bright idea to weigh myself today.   I know. I know.  Bad idea.

After the scale stopped screaming I almost started.  In disbelief I stared at it.  Surely the cold floor made the electronics go haywire?  Yeah, that's it.

Or maybe it's the bag of Enjoy Life chocolate chips I've been inhaling each day as a stress reliever.  Or the lack of using the exercise equipment I formerly used on a daily basis.  Or the lack of fresh veggies and fruits that I used to eat. 


Nah, that couldn't be it.  It was definitely the scale going haywire.   I went upstairs to the bathroom to use the non-electronic one.   It was also broken, because it showed the same numbers.

Shhh.  Don't ruin my fantasy of broken scales.  Reality is too harsh.  The thought that hey I am directly responsible for my condition isn't something I want to think about.

Unfortunately, the reality is my body is telling me loud and clear that there is something wrong.   The sudden shooting pains through my knees, lack of energy, depression, headaches, body aches, etc. are clear indicators that my body is going haywire.

I have to ask myself if I want to feel this way.  Do I like being in pain?  Do I like having headaches?  Do I want to have energy?  Do I want to be lethargic?

These are rhetorical questions, because I already know the answers.  I know how much better I felt when I ate healthier.  I know my knees didn't hurt like this when my weight was lower.  Interestingly enough, my left knee stops hurting for several days after I eat tuna (non-msg version of course).   This tells me I'm missing something in my diet that the tuna is providing.  My most obvious guess would be Omega 3.

My middle son went off to boot camp 2 weeks ago.  I don't want to be tired and not have the energy to walk around the base during his graduation.   I don't want to look like I'm rolling along, because I look like a ball.

Things are only going to get better in my life if I actually take control and make them better.  I need to conquer this fear of mine.  I need to look to the future and tackle one obstacle at a time.  I will start with eating right.  Without my health, I have and can do nothing.